Have you communicated your full end of life wishes to the family members who will have responsibilities approaching and after your death?
It’s important for both you and your family, but just where in the world do you begin? Let’s take the mystery out of how to start this conversation. And, perhaps, change our perspective from one of worry to thoughts of appreciation. Here are three action steps you can take today to aid in starting that future communication.
Who do we need to talk to? Take a moment and think about why it is beneficial to share this information and your wishes - not only for yourself, but also for the person you wish to speak to. Pause and reflect - can you list three favorable reasons for yourself, as well as for the other person?
Remind yourself of your goal. Why are you having this conversation and what is your intention? Keeping this in the forefront of your mind will help you to negate the possible reasons or excuses that might pop up from getting you stuck. Things like, “I’m not old enough to have this talk”, “It can wait”, or “They might judge me or think it’s unhealthy or depressing”. It might be helpful to think of potential ways denial could come up - for both you and the other party. If you can prompt yourself with your reasons, your ‘why’, it will conceivably strengthen your determination to communicate your full end of life wishes.
Pave the way for a healthy conversation by creating the atmosphere. You can open the conversation with, “I really want this to be much easier than when so-and-so died…” or “I really found it lovely when…”. Include your concerns, worries and/or other emotions when leading into the conversation so that your intention is clear.
Thinking and discussing the death of our loved ones can be emotional, but dismissing it or ignoring it isn’t going to magically make it go away. We will all die one day - this is an absolute truth. Talk to your loved ones now, while you are capable of doing so. And then commend yourself for strengthening relationships, maybe even setting an example for others, and offering an unwavering gift of love.
